SINGLES’ DIARY… by Adisa Elizabeth

In a world where relationships are part and parcel of life, it becomes almost impossible to avoid them. The media is talking about a wrecked marriage somewhere; your friends are getting married every weekend while others are crying for being heartbroken. There is so much hype about relationships that has gone to the extreme of not what God constituted of, gayism, lesbianism etc. People relate for different reasons, dealing with loneliness, to get identity, companionship etc.

The other day, listening to one of the local Christian broadcasting station, a young lady called in and said something that am pretty sure is a representation of many single believers. She was desperate coz her biological clock was really ticking but no one really seemed to notice that she is somewhere and she just didn’t understand why! She wanted to be loved and there is definitely nothing unusual about that. However, the fact that she was beginning to feel strange and missing something is what drove me to write this piece.

Do we really need to be married or in a relationship to be happy and feel complete? By all means, no! Because, there is no way we can be happy in a relationship if we feel incomplete in Christ Jesus.

THE BIG Q

So then, the big question is, if you are still single, is it not about time you accept the situation? What then are we to do when we feel that our singleness has become an inadequate status in our personal growth? You have attended and keep attending friend’s weddings and engagements but seemingly, no one has had that eye on you! How long do you hang on? Will you just hold on a little and not decide to waste your life by making a desperate choice?

May be you’ve prayed and fasted about the significant other and now you are asking “How long Lord must I wait?” but God is softly whispering to your ears, never mind child, just trust in me. Though waiting silently is often the hardest thing of all, it is in these emotions that we feel most deeply that we ought to be silent about until we have thoroughly talked it over with God. He wants you to wait on him. Love sickness may seem a small thing compared to other sicknesses but yes, one who is sick with love is sick indeed and our Father understands that all too well.

ENJOYING YOUR SEASON

Truly speaking, sometimes the loneliness we feel inside hurts so much and badly wounds us but it is important to shift our perspectives on the same so as to enjoy single hood and come to the knowledge that it’s a season and by no means make us inferior.

ü  When lonely, often too much stillness is what surrounds us and envelopes our souls and we begin to long for something to quench that loneliness. Therefore, at such times, the favor you can do to yourself is to be still and know that He is God! Rather than spending time building castles in the air or perhaps doing wishful thinking, being quiet before the Lord and seeking Him will grant you much more deep satisfaction and help build your faith.

ü  Knowing that you are not alone in this should give you courage to press on. Many are going through the same test and are not yielding. Besides, the Lord is with you always and will never leave you. You got something to hold onto sister or brother. And whether you feel His presence or not, He is definitely right there even amidst those tears that wet your pillow by crying out.

ü  Refusing self pity and accepting your loneliness is a strong strategy to overcoming it since self pity can drive you to suicidal levels and lower your esteem. The fact that it’s just a stage that is passing should give you joy that it isn’t forever.

JOY & COMPLETENESS IN CHRIST

Someone wrote about the young boy who gave up 5 loaves of bread and two fishes to Jesus that was broken down and ended up feeding multitudes. Offer your situation to God who can turn it around to a blessing to others. Or better still, you can use that moment to do something for somebody and you never know what that will mean.

Apostle Paul wrote on future joys and emphasized that our joy now and here is possible even in our trials and hard times. Even when you are feeling most alone and when the one phone call or text you long for don’t come; you can still have so much joy in your heart if we take the word of God in the right spirit. For taking the Word in the right Spirit will bring about maturity in faith and character, endurance of being alone and silent with the uncertainty building in us a steady hope in Christ which does not disappoint.{Romans 5:2-}

Enjoy your singlehood as much as you can and get out of that cocoon of self pity coz you are much more than that dearest. Perhaps in your heart, you have reached the place of asking God to take all your longing away or giving what you long for, try and listen to His voice. Maybe He wants to teach you to long for something better. For a career, good marriage, enviable relationship or even motherhood is not enough to totally satisfy you and God knows you will never be complete until you really understand that you are complete in Christ. “For in Him, all the fullness of Deity dwells in the bodily form…and in Him you have been made complete” {Colossians 2:9-10}.

In conclusion, an excerpt from a book by Jackie Kendall emphasizes that the lady in waiting isn’t about finding the right man but becoming the right woman. The lady in waiting recklessly abandons herself to the Lordship of Christ, diligently uses her single days, trusts God with unwavering faith, demonstrates virtue in her daily life, loves God with undistracted devotion, stands for physical and emotional purity, lives in security, responds to life in contentment, makes choices based on her convictions and waits patiently for God to meet her needs.

Wait on the Lord!

End.